Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Hollywood's (im)moral universe

Warner Bros. think you will have loads of fun torturing this girl-

Have fun, sadists- She's all yours!

The link is, and it takes you to a website, where you will find an attractive, young blond waiting for you to keep her awake. How’re you going to do that? She keeps yawning. She’s sooo sleepy.

It’s going to be a long night, so you start with something light. You click an icon and her alarm clock rings. You make her jump up and down on her bed in her underpants. You get her to read a book. But that’s no fun, right? Maybe you’re a little bored.

You put her in the shower, naked, natch, where the camera wanders across her body. You make her do jumping jacks and watch her boobs bounce in that very tight T-shirt she’s wearing. Still, there’s something missing. Isn’t there something else you can do? Something, say, more … fun?

You decide to apply more aggressive methods. You click the switchblade icon, and she picks up a knife. As you watch, she cuts herself in the side with it, gasping. Hm, not bad, you think. You try another. You click the icon that looks like a lighter, and she picks it up. You look on while she burns her arm, trembling in agony. If you’d known torture was this easy, well …

Unfortunately, now you’ve run out of tricks, and it seems your options are more limited than 18 U.S.C. § 2340. Don’t you hate it when that happens? Slowly, she falls asleep. Suffice to say, in the end, she dies. Too bad all your torturing couldn’t, er, save her.

Don’t worry! It’s not all for naught. You can kill her all over again, or, better yet, show off your torturing expertise by posting how effective your torture session was on your Facebook page. And they said social networking was good for nothing.

Of course, you’ve just been suckered, and the whole thing is a promotion Warner Bros. concocted in connection with the upcoming release of “A Nightmare on Elm Street,” a “re-imagining” of the 1984 movie in which Freddy Krueger, a serial killer who wears a glove with knives for fingers, kills people in their dreams so they die in reality.

Maybe this what Hollywood moghuls do in spare time.